Ep: #27 - Who is Jane and why is she important to your weight loss and self-image?

Faye Casement Author

Mar 22, 2023 |

<iframe

Firstly I want to start with a trigger warning. I am going to be talking about self-image and weight loss if you are affected by this please use your self-judgement. If you are in need of additional support please in the first instance reach out to a qualified physician or specialist.

Society and the media, tell us that in order to be happy and successful, we need to have the "perfect" body.

The 'diet' industry preys on our insecurities, telling us that if we just buy their products or follow their plan then we will finally be happy and thin.

But that's not really the whole truth is it!

At the end of the day, you can be healthy at every size, you can be successful no matter what your body size or type and you can be happy.

In this week's show, I'm talking about health, body image and also Jane.

If you want access to the accompanying video DM me #whoisjane?⤵

Does it sound odd coming from a weight loss coach that I believe in health at any size?

Let me know?

I have zero judgement with regard to your body and size. As long as you are happy and healthy, mentally and physically as best you can be this is all I want for you.

If, however, you want to occupy a smaller body though this is where I come in. I want you to do it in a way that is supportive, mentally, physically and long-term which is why I created my program and why I discourage traditional dieting methods and the diet industry fat cats.

Since I started weight loss coaching I have noticed that when I tell people what I am doing they often feel compelled to tell me something about their weight, food or diet.

What this reminds me of is just how prevalent the message is out there about weight, size and body image as this is not necessarily from people who are actively working on weight loss.

It makes me realise how most people are carrying around some kind of story about their body, food, size, weight or looks and how it can impact everyone no matter what size or body shape.

At the end of the day, we are not clones we are not supposed to look the same or have the same body size but yet most of us probably have some kind of preconception that is similar.

This mostly comes from the media, it has changed through the ages to match the fabulous icons of the day right. So today's day and age it is probably to have Kardashian-type body, hour-glass figure, boobs, butt and lips but let's face it these are not your atypical bodies or lives.

This is why Jane is so important.

So who is Jane?

Jane is a character I post about weekly on a Friday. I am not sure if you have seen any of the posts. Let me know if you have! Give her a thumbs up the next time you see one!

Jane is all of us and none of us. Although mostly at times. She is intended to be a collection of examples from real-life people with real lives.

She is just a "normal" woman living a "normal" life who just happens to want to occupy a smaller body.

The purpose behind her message is that you do not need to have the "perfect" body or life to be as happy and as successful as you can be. She is there to remind you, that you can be different, to carve your own path, to design who you want to be, for you and no one else.

This is what I hope Jane does through her stories.

So often we compare ourselves to others and strive for an unrealistic standard of perfection that is not only unattainable but also unnecessary.

I have talked before about having realistic expectations of ourselves and this I think links closely with self-image, our relationship to ourselves and also our body.

Did You Know...

There are, as you would expect, a ton of studies out there with regards to body image and each one of them shows how prevalent an issue it is.

I came across a survey done by Good Housekeeping and it may not be a scientific study but I am going with that as I think Jane is likely to have read a magazine or 2 in her time and I am convinced it is indicative but always do your own research of course in a world of misinformation!

They surveyed 4250 people and here were the facts they reported:

88% said their body shape/size was moderately important

74% of people had a list of "good"/"bad" foods

60% of people said the way they feel about themselves is influenced by their weight.

They reported also some alarming statistics on the lengths people would go to also to lose weight and how disordered some of this is. Plus there were some stats in there about the impact on their children which was also especially important to me.

What I really love about the article is the fact it is anti-diet and advocates intuitive eating which is my jam.

The Impact of Poor Body Image

Body image is a very personal issue, it impacts the relationship you have with yourself and it can also have a profound impact on your life and relationships with others.

Anyone who suffers from it knows the impact it can have:

1. Low self-esteem and a negative view of oneself.

2. An unhealthy obsession with weight and food and leading to disordered eating habits.

3. Avoiding social situations and isolating themselves from others or other relationship issues, such as, conflict, intimacy, and sexual dysfunction.

4. Making of poor decisions in other areas of their lives, such as, alcohol and drug abuse, under/overworking.

5. Poorer physical or mental health due to unhealthy behaviours.

Health at every size

This is where health at every size can come in.

The concept of health at every size is one that is close to my heart. It is based on the idea that you can be healthy and happy no matter what your size or weight. This is a message that is so important, especially given the prevalent message out there about weight and body image.

One of the main tenets of health at every size is that you should focus on being healthy, rather than trying to lose weight. This means making choices that will improve your overall health, rather than choices that are based on a number on the scale.

In the Triple-A-Way™ Life & Weight Loss Program, although you can weigh it is not essential. We work on our relationship with the scale as a tool only. True intuitive eating would reject any kind of weighing, measuring or tracking and I do advocate this and have members who work with this but you can also do work on this so your relationship with these things is healthy. There is nothing wrong per say with gathering statistics it is how you use them that is the key. If you are using them punitively then this is where the mind ninjary work comes in to neutralise that for a healthier approach.

The Triple-A-Way™ is about looking at yourself as a whole human being not just what you eat or how you look. Self-love and compassion is also a huge area of what I teach and encourage as this aids sustainability.

In the self-love mini-course contained in the membership, I also have some tools to help with body image issues.

One thing my mentor encouraged and I advocate too is you need to learn to love yourself at every size on the journey. If you do not do this work, when you get to your goal you will still be the same person with the same insecurities just in a smaller body.

I would rather you love and accept yourself now and work on the health part.

But don't I need some kind of fear to motivate me!

This is something I have heard from clients and seen people posting about. There is a general trend out there potentially due to 'diet' messaging over the year that you have to be in a state of fear to lose weight or make changes. This is so not true!

This also has perpetuated the issue with body image as it leads to self-judgement and loathing which can suck.

I want to try and bust that myth wide open for you!

In my experience and what I have seen with clients and others is when you come from a place of love, compassion and self-care amazing things happen.

It would be easy to think you need to be at your wit's end and rock bottom before you take action but this is not the case. It is never too late or early to start making changes in your life.

When you make decisions from a place of love, they are so much more sustainable because you are coming from a place of self-care not self-loathing.

If making decisions based on fear and restriction worked you would not have to repeat diets, you would do the work no matter what and be at goal.

Being hard on yourself, coming at weight loss through fear and deprivation is what makes weight loss hard and what creates suffering.

This is why I do not advocate any type of eating or food per se I help you how to navigate what you want to try and this is what I encourage my members to do. It is when you think you should or you have to that it comes from a place of restriction and you will feel deprived.

What are you more likely to sustain, and what is going to bring a more positive outcome in the end. The one that feels better. It will be less heavy to carry and you can focus on the process.

How does this fit with self-image?

As someone who has dieted or is dieting and as someone who wants to occupy a smaller body your judgement around food, your life, and yourself are all intertwined.

What would life be like if you looked to find ways to celebrate your body, your life, and your relationship with food. How much easier could that feel?

If you are currently on a weight loss journey and not finding it fun, sustainable or easy then let's explore that.

Once you start to embrace the process and do this because you want to for you, your self-view will change, when you start to see how you show up for yourself and your dreams daily you step into a personal power and once you step into a personal power your self-image changes.

A story of Jane

Jane felt like she was at rock bottom, she loathed looking at herself in the mirror. She wished she was thin. If only she was thin and pretty life would be good! Life would be so easy. She could go anywhere, be anything she wanted to be.

She had tried every single diet going and nothing worked long-term for her. She was miserable and felt stuck.

Jane felt worthless.

She didn't want to feel this way. She hated feeling this way. She hated herself for how she had become and felt pathetic for not being able to stop it or sort it sooner.

Jane felt like she just had too far to go and what was the point as she would just fail again anyway.

One day, Jane was talking to a friend. She was saying about how crappy she felt. It took a lot for Jane to have this conversation as she typically buried all of this.

Jane's friend was supportive and was telling her bout her struggles and experience with her own self-image. Jane was shocked. Her friend always seemed so together. She would have never guessed she too had issues with her body especially as she had recently lost a lot of weight.

Her friend explained how she had lost her weight and how the methods she had used helped her with her self-image as she felt more empowered. Rather than picking a method that just knocked her down time and time again, she picked a method that she wanted to do and enjoyed and worked on her whole self, mind, body and soul. She said how she had times where she would doubt herself, not like what she saw in the mirror, she was human after all and that is OK but she now had tools in her toolbox to handle those times so they are less frequent and less severe with practice.

Jane felt renewed hope. She realised maybe there was a way she had not tried before and that this could be the answer.

Final Thoughts

We all have different journeys when it comes to our relationship with food and our body. Some of us have battled for years with weight gain, dieting and negative self-talk. For others, the journey may be just beginning. No matter where you are on your path, know that you are not alone. There is always hope and there is always a way to turn things around.

If you are struggling with food and your body, I encourage you to reach out for help. There are many resources available to you including counsellors, nutritionists, support groups and of course the Triple-A-Way™.

You don't have to do this alone. Help is available. You are worth it. You've got this!

If you are ready to find sustainable weight loss by ditching mainstream diets to find more joy PLUS Food & Life Freedom check out the VIP Coaching Membership HERE.

Want the link to the accompanying video to this one as well as printable show notes drop me a DM 

Come join us also in the Wellness4Women Facebook Group where you can watch other live videos and snag other resources, and useful tips and connect to a community of women just like you!

Follow me on socials: Linktr.ee

Categories: : mindset, Weight loss