Ep: #11 - Moving Forward in Life and Weight Loss With Self Love, Compassion & Curiosity

Faye Casement Author

May 05, 2024 |

It can be really hard to truly move forward in life and weight loss if you don't love or sometimes even like yourself much.

This can play out in the extreme or it can be at a low level. I have never met anyone yet that I know of who has not struggled at some point in your life with this.

It can be a really tough world out there and even tougher due to the inner world that we can create in our minds sometimes.

On a day-to-day basis most women, me certainly and likely you included if I can be so bold, will have windows and moments when you are less than kind to yourself.

Whether this is low-level self-deprecation, judging, or being damn right mean to yourself about a situation, thought, feeling, action, or result in you are having in your life and this plays out, especially for those who struggle with their weight.

As I said last week, our brains usually take us away from things that cause us pain and towards things that cause us pleasure but it can also be a contradictory begger who then also throws up internal pain and anguish regardless.

If this is you, you may feel like you're stuck and that you'll never be able to change, but I promise you it’s not true!

By working on self-love, compassion, curiosity, anything is possible.

You know what they say: "You can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself."

It's true.

You also cannot pour from an empty cup - we all know the saying but yet we keep emptying that damn cup and trying!

It is likely you feel constantly busy running around like that demented squirrel thing in Ice Age, feeling like you are pulled in all directions by children, partners, family, friends, and life in general.

In order to feel good and take actions that serve you for life and weight loss, you need to love yourself enough and make time for yourself to do it. 

Doesn’t have to be a lot but I have seen women really struggle with this and feel like they cannot find even 5-10 minutes which is all it really takes.  With 20 - 30 minutes a day (remember one episode from Netflix!) it would be even better.

Life and your weight will not change by themselves. So let's figure it out!

So what does self-love actually look like in action?

If there were one word I would use to describe the essence of self-love, it would be compassion.

Compassion is not just feeling sorry for ourselves or being overly nice; instead, it requires a conscious choice on your part to take care of yourselves as if you were taking care of someone else that mattered deeply to you.

When you show yourself compassion, you are able to do so much more than simply feel better about yourself; it gives you space to grow as a human being and it actually allows you to live a fuller and happier life.

So where does curiosity come into it?

Curiosity is what will help you find self-love when it is lost.

The human mind is very powerful; it's capable of taking us to dark places, but it's also able to bring us back to the light.

Curiosity is about challenging the status quo and looking for small ways to tweak and change for personal growth so you can step into the light.

Why are self-love and compassion important for life and weight loss?

Self-love is important because if you have a healthy relationship with yourself and your life you are more likely to show up for yourself, find it easier to stick to your realistic commitments, and progress at a quicker pace than if you continually duck out on yourself and speak to yourself badly. It also helps you to persevere when things get tough helping you to stay motivated which I know many of you struggle with.

You will make mistakes in life and weight loss whether that be a cock up at work, upsetting someone by accident or overeating but if you can accept that these things happen, forgive yourself when you make a mistake and learn from it with compassion and curiosity you learn more about yourself and how to improve your life. You GATHER AWARENESS. As with all I teach from that AWARENESS you STEP INTO ACTION and find ACCOUNTABILITY. & then rinse and repeat - ta da the process continues.

Tips for how to start working on increasing your self-love

Develop a deeper understanding of your own needs

Self-love is not just the act of loving yourself, but an understanding that self-love can be gained through really knowing what you need in your life to live happily.

When you have a better idea of what you need/want to feel, it becomes much easier to meet those needs and become self-loving. You might find it helpful to write down your thoughts on this.

Tip: If you're not sure what you need, just ask yourself what would improve how I feel right now. For example, if you've had a stressful day at work and are feeling tired, then some recuperative rest or relaxation time might be beneficial for your mood.

Maybe you are reaching for the snacks, ask yourself. What do I really need right now?

When you know what you really need, it becomes much easier to meet those needs and so increase your self-love.

Connect to your thoughts/feelings through mind ninjary, especially around worth and value

Thoughts and feelings about yourself can have a huge impact on how you feel in reality, knocking into the action you take and ultimately your results. Having a mindful and growth mindset as I talked about last week can help with this.

Taking time out to become aware of your thoughts is a good first step towards self-love.

If you struggle with experiencing emotions or find it difficult to understand what you are feeling, mindfulness is also a practical way for you to start being more present so you can step into action.

Over time you have developed a number of beliefs as you have lived your life. They will have created pathways in your brain that your brain likes to tread as a well-worn groove. Your habit brain will try and keep taking you down that path if you let it but by working on your rules, beliefs, thoughts, and stories you can change the path.

Develop a daily self-love/compassion routine

Self-love and compassion are not something you should do for a day and forget about. It is something to work on a little every day, in order to grow and become the best person you can be. And luckily, there are lots of ways that you can go about doing this!

I have covered journaling in a previous blog this is a great one to help as when you say those thoughts on paper you would want to change them.

You could have a self-care practice in the shower or when cleaning your teeth. Think of 3 things you are grateful for or that you are proud of yourself for that day. Even if it is the fact you have managed to have a shower and clean your teeth that day.

Every time you enter a room, say some kind of affirmation.

You are only limited by your creativity or the creativity of others…reach out to the Wellness4Women3a FB group and ask if you get stuck.

Look after your basic needs

Kind of goes hand in hand with weight loss but working on your weight loss and health in a way that aligns with how you are that day.

This is where my previously talked about realistic commitments come into it. Do not commit to eating salad… chicken and broccoli if 

a) you do not like that chicken and broccoli 

b) you are poorly 

c) on your period etc you are setting yourself up to fail. 

Set yourself up to succeed daily and then level up when you can.

Listen to what your mind, body, and soul is telling you and act on it. Trust that you know best or at the least, you can figure it out.

Gain support from others to help you on the way

No surprise here I am going to encourage you to get support. Use the wellness4women3a group. Join the membership. Get a 1 to1 coach.

You do not need to go this alone!

Things to remember:

• You are human - this is not a cure but it will make life a damn sight better!

• The only thing that really is stopping you, in the end, is you.

• Self-love doesn't happen overnight, but it gets easier with time and it is so worth the work.

• Accept imperfection and work on building your growth mindset.

• Remember you are a human, remember you are unique and remember that you were born worthy (even if you do not feel it right now!).

RECAP

Self-love is an essential part of living a content and fulfilling life. It's not always easy to develop a deeper understanding of your own needs and meet them, but it is possible with time and some relatively minimal effort.

I’ve explored some ways that you can start taking care of yourself on a daily basis and begin the journey to self-love.

Remember that self-love and compassion are something you should work on every day in order to grow, and there are lots of ways that you can go about doing this!

Want to get started on losing weight for the last time? 

Check out the Triple-A-Way Membership HERE.

Come join the Wellness4Women Facebook Group where you can watch the live video to accompany this blog plus catch other free training, resources, useful tips and to connect to a community of women just like you!.

Categories: : mindset, self compassion, self love, Weight loss