Ep: #34 How To Respond When Someone Asks You "How's Your Weight Loss Is Going?"

Faye Casement Author

Mar 22, 2023 |

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As someone who had been on many weight loss journeys before losing over 70lb, I have been asked it hundreds of times and know that this is a question most dieters dread!

"How's it going?"

Sometimes, it can be difficult to know how to respond when someone asks you about your weight loss journey.

Whether you have lost weight or not that week it can feel tricky to answer.

Has this ever come up for you? Let me know!

So let's explore that a little more about this today.

If you want access to the accompanying video drop me a DM.

Now you may be thinking, nope this has never happened for me and in which case that is great but maybe you have had or need to have soon an awkward conversation as in essence, this is what I am talking about here so keep following along to see what comes up.

But if you are like me there have been times when I have had this question and I have wanted to crawl under a rock.

You know it is coming. Maybe you are about to meet up for lunch with friends, family, or workmates.

Maybe they have seen your posts on social media or you spoke before about your journey so they will ask.

You also know it is likely to happen just when you are putting a forkful of food in your mouth.

You try to plan the conversation in your head before you get there. What are you going to say this time?

At the end of the day, the "How's it going?" question crops up a lot in life too.

May you just got married, start a new job, or had a baby. Ultimately people are curious and it is just a normal part of small talk that we all do but yet we secretly can hate it at times.

Why? As there is always this risk of feeling awkward.

It is human nature, of course, to not want to feel like we are a failure or not good enough and so when it comes to weight loss this can feel like a loaded question.

I know some people prefer not to tell people they are trying to lose weight for example for the fear of judgement from others.

The truth is that most people who ask how your journey is going don't usually want to know the gory details.

They just want to make small talk and be polite but yet we often take it to heart and put a lot of pressure on ourselves to give the "right" answer.

The reality is that whatever you say will be fine or should I say you can be fine no matter what.

Your thoughts here are what is key.

To tell or not to tell this is the question

So first off you have a choice. Do you tell people you are on a weight loss journey (or insert your journey here) or not.

As said I know people who have not told their partners and family for fear they would judge them spending money, that they will comment on it all the time, and or they may be even out and out be mean to them about their efforts. So maybe the decision is not to tell but then you may feel guilty for hiding it.

Maybe you tell them, you worry about when you see people, that they are going to judge you, that it will lead to you judging yourself.

What I would say is either way you will have thoughts and feelings about so pick the one that fits best for you so you can move forward.

The leader of the coaching school where I got my accreditation (Thriving Coach Acadamy - Frank Macri) tells the story about how he made a decision early in his life, that by nature we are judgemental creatures and how he would rather be judged for showing up big in the world than for not showing up in the first place. I have always liked this story it really resonates with me as I hid away for years due to fear of judgement and judgement of myself kept me small but no more.

This is a personal choice of course at the end of the day but it is also the kind of thing you can get coached on if you were to become a full Triple-A Member.

What are you afraid of?

Either way, to tell or not to tell there is likely to be a conversation had at some point where a person will ask how your journey is going. Even if they do not know you are on a journey they may say something about it anyway.

So let's go deeper...

What is your worst fear for this conversation?

What is your darkest fear of having this conversation?

• Are you worried someone will say something unkind?
• Are you embarrassed due to your progress?
• Are you worried about what they will think?
• Are you worried you may upset their feelings?
• Are you worried they will think less of you?

The key is to start to actively listen to the thoughts. You may think but then I will discover all of these things... open pandora's box as it were and be emotional.

BUT

Listen for them or not those thoughts will be there. You have the choice. Find them...deal with them and work on feeling better to find more joy or don't and risk them festering or at best continuing as they are.

I know which I chose every time. I am sick of feeling like sh!t I did that for nearly 40 years.

The kind of things that would come up for me regularly was:

• People will judge me for my looks (probably stemming from the name-calling when I was little).
• I was ashamed of myself after years of thinking I "should" have the perfect body.
• I would be embarrassed as I knew I had not been "good" that week and "on plan" as all the diets I tried prior to my current method were hard for me to stick to.
• I would feel the need to justify my actions with excuses that made me feel icky.
• I didn't really want to be reminded of the bad week I was having and would trigger a negativity spiral.
• If I had lost weight I didn't want to misguide people I was doing well as naturally there are ups and downs.
• If they were on a weight loss journey I may have worried if they had not lost that I would have been rubbing it in.

I am sure there are loads more these are just off the top of my head.

Of course, these are just some of my fears and thoughts but yours may be different.

So what's next?

Get curious about them. We have to gather that awareness right. Understand why they are there for you. What are your reasons? What are your fears? What is it your brain thinks is going to happen? Is what you are thinking true? Is loving and could something be different?

Your reasons are valid for you but often when we look at them closely they are not often all that rational.

The conversations are likely just bringing up or triggering (as that was a keyword last week) old thought patterns which lead to feelings of not being good enough.

This is common so if this is you, you are not alone but you also do not have to continue this way.

So, how do you respond to this question without feeling awkward?

Here are some tips:

• I've given you the first step about being curious.
• Be honest with yourself and with others if you can, you will feel more authentic.
• If you are having a tough time, tell them. Weight loss can feel really hard at times like you are in a constant battle even if you use a simple sustainable method you love as I advocate. You will have days where you feel on top of your game and days where you feel like you have no idea what you are doing. This is all part of the journey.
• Anticipate conversations such as these and practice in advance what you might say.
• Try to remind yourself there is a chance the person who is asking cares about you and just wants to know how you are doing or is just making small talk.
• Doing well, share this too! It is important to share your wins when working on weight loss and you do not have to do it in a way that doesn't feel good. One of my recommended daily steps from the program is sharing often with the community.
• Worried about the other person's feelings, think about how would you like to have the news delivered to you?
• Remember the people who really matter care about us and want to know how we are really doing.
• If you have toxic people in your life, it is okay to set boundaries. You do not have to share everything with everyone. Abuse and ill-treatment are not OK and do not have to be tolerated.

And if you panic, you do still have the old faithful "Fine thank you!" or if you want a little more "I am doing my best, there are ups and downs as is normal but I really appreciate support at this time".

Conclusion

When someone asks how your weight loss journey is going, it can be difficult to know what to say. You may not have lost any weight yet, or you may have lost a lot of weight-either way, it can feel like a tough question to answer.

Why not use my 5 D's of Action Model:

• Decide what you are going to share, Decide in advance how you want to answer these kinds of questions.
• Do (able). Get it done and keep it simple.
• Discover - what happened? How did it go?
• Deal - Work on the thoughts and feelings that come up
• Do again - things rarely happen in once so keep at it.

I hope this has helped give you some ideas on how to respond when someone asks about your weight loss journey.

These kinds of conversations are the kind of thing that can trigger us to overeat especially when we are out for meals when the question comes up.

If you are struggling with emotional eating and need help to make changes that last, sign up for full VIP membership.

Remember you don't have to go it alone on your weight loss journey

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P.S.

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Categories: : mindset, Weight loss