Ep: #43 The Truth About Self-Sabotage In Weight Loss

Listen to this week's episode today:

We’ve all been there…

Your new 'diet' is going so well.

You've bought healthy food.

You've made your plan

You've binged watched/read the content from your latest diet approach

You've started exercising.

You are a couple of weeks (maybe months if you are lucky) and then boom!

Sabotage!

You start to have little slips.

You start to have big slips.

The optimism you felt about this time being different is waning.

Maybe doubt starts creeping in. "Maybe it is just like all the other times I have tried to lose weight",

Judgement: "I am such a failure!"

Overwhelm: "I've not got time to go to the gym"

Fear: "What if I end up quitting and gain it all back?" or Maybe "What if I get to goal, what then I will have to deal with xxx".

Maybe you are impacted by others: "Suzie says I shouldn't be having so many calories"

To quote the Hitchhikers Guide "Don't Panic!"

This is totally normal. It is just what happens you are not broken. You are not failing. You are human!

The only thing that will lead to your weight loss journey failing is giving up because you let your Weight Loss Gremlins win!

I know the Weight Loss Gremlins well from my own journey.

This is why coaching is so important. It can help you to identify your own personal Gremlins, help you come up with a way to combat them and help you implement the strategy.

This is what I LOVE when it comes to supporting clients…

After years of problem-solving and coaching, I love to get into the root of those Gremlins that are holding you back in with your life, weight loss and your overall well-being.

I love helping clients to find their next steps, to help them gain confidence through clarity and to cheer them on as they get to their goals.

This is what we are going to touch on in Today's Episode of the Wellness 4 Women Show.

In writing today's episode it gave me a great idea for a mini-course on self-sabotage so watch this space for details and drop me a message on socials if you want to go on the wait list for that.

If you're trying to lose weight and find yourself self-sabotaging your efforts, it's important to understand why you're doing it. Once you know the reasons, you can start to work on overcoming them. Remember, change is hard but it's worth it. You can do this!

We all know that change is hard. It's especially hard when we're trying to make a change in an area of our life where we've been struggling for a long time. For many people, weight loss is one of those areas. We may have tried diet after diet, only to find ourselves right back where we started (or even heavier than before). So why do we keep sabotaging our own efforts?

There are several reasons why this might happen. Maybe we're afraid of failure and don't want to deal with the disappointment of not being successful. Or maybe we're overwhelmed by the thought of making such a big change. Maybe we don't believe that we can actually lose weight and keep it off. And sometimes, our self-sabotage is caused by others - friends, family members, or even complete strangers who give us unsolicited advice about how to lose weight.

No matter what the reason is, self-sabotage can be incredibly frustrating and discouraging. But it's important to remember that you're not alone - many people struggle with this issue. And there are ways to overcome it. With coaching, support, and determination, you can finally achieve your weight loss goals!

What Is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage is when we consciously or unconsciously do things that undermine our efforts to lose weight or really any goal we are working on in life.

We've all done it you start your day with great intentions, you eat a healthy breakfast, but then by lunch the doughnut your work colleague just offered sounds good or skip your workout because you're too tired.

This can then lead to a spiral of f'its and before you know it you are declaring the day "lost" and saying you will start again tomorrow.

Or maybe it's Friday, you've had a ridiculously busy week so you decide to have a "weekend off" a "treat weekend" and start again Monday. Ahhhh Monday what is it about Monday's?

The result... potential weight gain.

The compounded result... Judgement of yourself and the situation.

Which starts a further cycle of regret, judgement, shame and guilt all zapping your joy!

Leading to further actions of sabotage and ultimately impacting your journey to goal.

You have fallen off the proverbial wagon so many times you risk permanent scarring.

Not fun right!

So why? Why do we do it? and what can we do about them?

Why Do We Self-Sabotage?

My new course will take you through each of the Weight Loss Gremlins, how they impact you and what you can do about it with exercises and support from the VIP Support Group, to help with each but let's introduce them today.

First up, we have Judgement. If you are listening to the Podcast, picture a cute yellow little bespectacled gremlin or even better come watch the video in Wellness 4 Women to meet her and her 4 sisters. For those watching LIVE/REPLAY you can of course see them on the screen.

Judgement

Judgement loves to look through her spectacles and down her nose at all the details. She is a little miss prissy whose favourite pastime is passing mental comments on your life, your weight loss and everything. She judges things that happen, she judges you and she judges others.

She leaves this kind of icky residue on everything she touches.

E.g. You have been doing great all week, eating well and working out but you have a big night out on Saturday so you decide to let your hair down a bit, have some fun and enjoy yourself. You are not going to be perfect all the time.

Cue Judgement: "You are such a failure. You have ruined all your hard work. You might as well give up now."

See how that icky residue feels!

What can you do about Judgement?

The first step is to recognise when she is talking. Say to yourself "Oh look it's Judgement again" and then take a step back.

She loves to be in charge but you are the boss of you. So ask yourself "Is what she is saying true?" And often the answer is No!

She can be mean but with the Triple-A-Way™️ you can channel Self-Love. So ask yourself "Is what she saying Loving?". Sometimes the answer again is No!

Then get curious as to what else could be true or more loving. I call this my TLC method.

For example, you could choose to think something like this instead: I am pleased with my progress this week. I have eaten well and worked out. Yes, there is a big night out on Saturday planned I do not have to be perfect to still lose weight. I can choose how I wish to show up for my goals. This weekend I choose xxxxx.

Fear

So let me introduce you to Fear. She is a little green monster, aptly coloured as she feels a little nauseous from the anxiety and tigers she sees everywhere. She worries about the what if's. She has been known to worry about success, about failure. Hell, sometimes both!

Are you surprised to hear about the fear of success? I know I was when I first learnt this.

It sounds so counterintuitive but bare with me.

Our brains are wired to protect us from threats and danger. So, when we set a goal that's outside of our comfort zone—like losing 70 pounds which was my goal —our brain perceives it as a threat. In response, we might start to self-sabotage in order to stay within our comfort zone where we feel safe. There can also be hidden fears e.g. for example, I perhaps told myself I could not date until I was thinner which really was an excuse because of being scared to date. So what would happen if I got to goal? I would have to tackle my fear of dating. Never get to goal. Never have to deal with that fear and your brain gremlin knows this.

We then have the age-old fear of failure.

Cue Fear: "You are never going to lose weight. What if you fail? You will be so embarrassed. What will people think of you? You might as well give up now. You are never going to get there"

Does that sound familiar? I have said these kinds of things to myself before.

Just like with judgement, fear cues up a whole spiral of other thoughts and feelings that then leads to you taking self-sabotaging actions against your weight loss which leads to you failing ahead of time.

What can you do about fear?

Just like judgement you have to call her out. See her for what she is. Get awareness that she is there and take action steps with support to combat her with mind nijary.

Overwhelm

Who hasn't ever felt overwhelmed from time to time. I picked this little 3 eyed character because this is to me what overwhelmed can feel like. It is like you have extra senses and are taking in everything and anything and it is too much to compute.

Really though overwhelm is a mismatch between expectation and reality in one of two ways. We are not being realistic with what we are trying to achieve and setting ourselves up to fail or we perceive we won't be able to do something in advance when actually maybe we can.

What can you do about overwhelm?

The daily steps I recommend in the Triple-A-Way all help with this. I provide the tools to help you work on setting realistic expectations. You can revisit other episodes where I have talked about this.

The key is curiosity and kindness. Take a step back, keep things simple and focus on something more manageable taking each step at a time.

In terms of weight loss often the problem is in the fact you can easily feel restricted. We feel like we can't have fun, that we HAVE to stick to plan, HAVE to exercise. It zaps the joy and can trigger fear of failure as all of these little monsters love to tag team from time to time.

Social

4th up we have Little Miss Social, don't be fooled though by her big smile and wave. She loves others sooooo much she tries to take on other people's thoughts, feelings and actions.

She loves to compare you to others, and make you feel less than others. She can often be heard whispering that you are not as far on in your journey as Susan, or maybe you will never look like Jo.

She loves to listen to others too. When someone tells you about their latest diet she laps it up and tells you, you should be like them and do what they are doing.

She feels everything, she is quite empathetic really or thinks she is. She notices what people say and do regarding your life and weight loss journey and tries to convince you, you are wrong and everyone else is right. She tries to convince you to change for others.

She also loves a good food pusher. She jumps up and down with glee anytime Lizzie insists you should go out for Mojitos or you are boring or Janet from accounts offers you a doughnut.

No surprises here that little miss social can have quite the impact.

What can you do about social?

Well, I will tell you the first thing you most definitely do not want to try. Locking miss social away. She does not like to feel restricted. She stands for joy even though sometimes misplaced. She has a heart of gold really and just wants to keep you safe and happy. She does not realise you can be just as happy if you decide upon and set your own boundaries but it is ok she can learn. The more set a realistic plan that fits your life and start to show up daily for yourself the more she starts to trust you and the process.

Doubt

Lastly, we have doubt. A timid little monster with a small nagging voice. She whispers in are ear things like "you are not enough", " you are not doing enough", "you don't have enough".

This lack of belief can be rooted in past failures or negative experiences with weight loss (i.e., "I've tried dieting before and it didn't work"). It can also be due to low self-esteem or feelings of unworthiness (i.e., "I'm not good enough/thin enough/worthy enough to reach my goal").

What can you do about doubt?

The biggest contributors to overcoming doubt with mind nijary are your why power, your future you and your support network.

Your why power helps give you clarity. You 'future you' gives you vision and guidance to stay on course and your support network holds your hand whilst you do it.

Conclusion

I promised the truth about Self-Sabotage. The REAL truth is... it is normal!

We all have little brain gremlins, little voices in our subconscious and conscious mind that nibble or take chunks out of what we are doing.

You can choose to feed them, letting them grow stronger or you can look to combat them with some Mind Nijary the choice is yours.

I know which I chose every time.

Want to really make sure you are getting the benefit out of these videos then don't forget to leave your #gems in the chat in the FB group.

Need some help with this topic? 

Find out how you can work with me HERE

Follow me on socials: Linktr.ee

Categories: : mindfulness, mindset, Weight loss