Ep 99 - Daily Acts of Self-Love: Embrace the Power of Love Languages

Faye Casement Author

Jul 07, 2024 |

Hello hello hello and welcome to episode no 99 of the Wellness 4 Women Show.

Today I want to give you some different food for thought about self-love and self-care.

New to my world? My ethos is all about treating ourselves with the same kindness, respect, and compassion that we offer to others, especially when it comes to our relationship with food.

Our relationship with ourselves ultimately is the most important one we can have.

Today we're going to explore how integrating small, daily acts of self-love could significantly enhance your well-being and happiness. Increase your well-being and happiness and this will show in your food and so on.

Together, we are going to explore how you could use the five love languages by Dr Gary Chapman to do it. You can grab the book; I will link it, and there is also a free online quiz to help you explore this further. If you are in the membership, the resource will help you to take action for your unique love language/s.

The 5 Love Languages

If you have not read the book, The 5 Love Languages is an exploration of how individuals express and receive love. According to Chapman, people have varying ways of communicating love, which he defines as Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

He furthers this by saying understanding our own primary love language and that of our partners can enhance the quality of our relationships.

This fits perfectly with my signature method The Triple-A-Way™️ as ultimately the insight (awareness) you gain then allows you to tailor your expressions of affection to better resonate with your and your loved ones' emotional needs.

This can also be extended to friendships, family, and even professional interactions.

For me, healthy relationships are all about communication and again the Triple-A-Way™️ method can be turned to this also.

Gathering awareness around your own love language and what is important to you, as well as others, is pure gold. When you know more about yourself and others, you can step into action where necessary to create, maintain, or enhance a healthy relationship as you can start to build a deeper connection and demonstrate you care and appreciate them. Let's face it, most of the time, as humans, we just want to be seen, heard, and loved.

The principles can also be applied to self-love, as you will discover.

Exploring The Love Languages

Let's have a look at each of the 5 love languages so that you can start to explore what they mean to you and how you could apply them.

Words of Affirmation

Words of affirmation involve expressing love and appreciation through verbal communication. This can include giving compliments, offering words of encouragement, or simply telling someone how much you value and care for them. Words at the end of the day have tremendous power. They have the power to uplift and inspire others but can also be used to knock people down, so it is important to be sincere and genuine in your affirmations.

Someone who loves words of affirmation would revel at being told 'I love you', may say it freely and mean it. They may compliment and take compliments regularly. Someone who doesn't have it as one of their primary's may not say words often and may feel awkward or not place a high value if you are saying kind things to them.

Applying words of affirmation to self-love would involve speaking kindly to yourself, acknowledging your strengths and accomplishments, and boosting your own confidence through positive self-talk.

Some ideas would be:

• Practicing daily self-affirmations, such as writing down affirming statements or repeating positive mantras.
• Taking time to express gratitude.
• Keeping a journal where you write down positive thoughts and achievements. I had a win journal for a while, for example, where every time I had a win, no matter how big or small, I wrote it down.
• Using sticky notes with encouraging messages on your mirror or workspace to uplift your spirits throughout the day.
• Or setting verbal reminders to pop up.

Acts of Service

Acts of service involve doing kind and helpful things for yourself or others without expecting anything in return. They can help you cultivate a sense of purpose and belonging too. The ease of this is that the acts can be simple gestures; they don't have to be massive grand affairs.

If acts of service are your thing, you may get lit up if you help a friend, volunteer, or offer support to someone in need. Altruistic behaviours have been shown to increase feelings of satisfaction and enhance mental health. It can also have a ripple effect by inspiring others to pay it forward.

Conversely, if acts of service are not your thing, you may not be so keen on people doing things for you, you may feel like a burden or that it somehow makes you less capable. Maybe you struggle to allow people to do things for you.

If acts of service are your thing and you want to apply this to self-care, you could:

Ask yourself, "How can I make life easier for me?" "What can I do today for myself so I feel xxxx insert feeling xxxx ?"

You can do things like:

• Putting out your clothes the night before, making sure your coffee mug is ready, or packing up a healthy lunch.
• Take time to change your living space to create a calm and welcoming environment.
• Anything you typically might have viewed as a chore before can also be an act of kindness to yourself—all you have to do is reframe it to a gift.

Receiving Gifts

On the topic of gifts, next up we have receiving gifts. Receiving a gift, for some of us, can bring joy to our hearts and make us feel appreciated. It can help the person with this love language feel connected and positive. If, however, gifts are not your language, you can find it awkward. You can feel obligated to reciprocate. The giving of gifts might feel like a tense situation.

As with the others, if gifts are your love language, find little ways to give yourself things throughout the day to bring you joy.

What could you buy yourself or gift yourself? It does not necessarily have to cost money.

Examples would be:

• Buying yourself a bouquet of your favourite flowers.
• Treating yourself to a small piece of jewellery that makes you smile.
• Investing in a new book or a hobby kit you’ve been wanting to try. Making yourself some art or a poem
• Preparing a special meal or dessert just for yourself.
• Setting aside a special treat, like a favourite tea or coffee blend, for a relaxing moment.
• DIY Spa Day with items you already have, like taking a long bath, using homemade face masks, or giving yourself a manicure.

Quality Time

Quality time involves spending meaningful and undistracted moments with yourself or others. It's about giving your full attention and being fully present in the moment.

For those who cherish quality time, engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment can strengthen bonds, create lasting memories, and promote emotional well-being.

If quality time is your love language and you want to apply this to self-care, you could:

• Setting aside time to curl up with a good book.
• Scheduling a few minutes for meditation or mindfulness practices.
• Enjoying a hobby like painting, gardening, or writing.
• Taking a walk in nature, fully appreciating the beauty around you.
• Having a tech-free meal, focusing on the flavours and sensations.

Physical Touch

Physical touch is a powerful communicator of love and comfort. Simple gestures such as hugs, hand-holding, or pats on the back can foster feelings of security and connection with others.

To apply physical touch to self-care, you could:

• Incorporate a self-care routine that involves physical touch, like a relaxing bath, a self-massage, a mindful shower, or a skincare regimen.
• Engage in physical activities that you enjoy, such as yoga, dancing, or a gentle workout.
• Practice self-hugs and body regulation exercises.
• Consider using a weighted blanket for comfort and relaxation.
• Pamper yourself with a massage or a spa day.

Integrating Self-Love into Your Daily Routine with the Triple-A-Way™️

Hopefully, this has given you an idea of things you could do.

Awareness: Start by recognising what your primary love language is and how you can integrate it into your daily routine. Notice what actions make you feel most loved and appreciated.

Action: Make a conscious effort to practice some form of self-love daily, even if it's just for a few minutes. Small consistent actions build up over time and create lasting change.

Accountability: Keep track of your self-care practices. This could be in a journal, with a buddy, or in our Wellness 4 Women community. Celebrate your progress and stay committed to nurturing yourself.

Next Steps

Want to go deeper? Read Dr. Gary Chapman’s book "The 5 Love Languages." The book can provide you with valuable insights into how you can better understand and nurture yourself and your relationships.

Reach out for coaching and support, especially if you are in the membership.

Pop into the free group. Start a thread; we can all share ideas there.

Members, head to your portal for the accompanying resource.

Conclusion

Right, that's it for this week folks.

I can't help but think of Ru Paul when he says, “If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”

For more insights and inspiration around self-love, check out other episodes from The Wellness 4 Women Show, such as, Ep 95 - Dynamic Self-love; Ep 91 - Making Time for You - How To Prioritise Well-being in a Busy World, plus many others.

Let me know your takeaway points as usual wherever you are able to leave a comment and don't forget to hit subscribe.

See you next week.