Ep 79 - Reasons Why You Are Not Sticking To Your Healthy Habits For Weight Loss

Faye Casement Author

Nov 16, 2023 |

Hello hello hello and welcome to episode number 79. Transforming Negative Relationships with Healthy Habits For Weight Loss.

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Today, we're diving deep into a topic that hits close to home for many of us – transforming those tricky, negative relationships we've developed with building and working on our healthy habits.

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Before we jump in, I want you to take a moment. Think about those well-intentioned plans that somehow fell by the wayside – the meal planning that lost its spark, the water bottle sitting on your desk, neglected and forgotten, the walks you meant to take but life got busy. We've all been there, haven't we?

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In fact, I experienced these struggles this week. Just like you, I'm human, and through my interactions on socials and with our members, I know I'm not alone. But instead of self-judgment, I choose self-ownership. It's time to change, to have my healthy habits in place because they shape the flow of my life and impact my well-being and weight management.

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Let me know in the chat a habit you would like to start, stop or change.

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Today, we're not just going to talk about why these habits slipped away, but how you can turn the tide. As said it's not about blaming yourself; it's about understanding the stories you've told yourself and then working on embracing a new narrative.

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Now, you might be wondering, "Why is this relevant to me?" Well, if you've ever felt the weight of restrictive diets, the struggle to find time for yourself, or the silent rebellion against those health habits, this is for you. Unless you have the discipline of steel (and are happy that way) or you are a robot I can pretty much guarantee this has or will happen to you at some point.

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Again, whether you're a seasoned member of our Wellness 4 Women community or tuning in for the first time, this episode is your key to unlocking a journey of transformation, fueled by curiosity, self-love, and positivity and crafting a path that's uniquely yours. For the existing members, you have access to complimentary resources, with your backstage pass to dive deeper and this week I am gifting you a little flow chart to help you decide on what to work on.

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So are you ready to uncover the stories that may have held you back and discover the power within you to rewrite them as you embrace the joy, ditch the drama, and step into a life where well-being is not a destination but a way of being.

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Identifying Your Negative Relationships with Healthy Habits

Let's start at the macro level.

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When I say healthy habits how does that make you feel? Do you feel excited? Do you feel resistance bubbling up because you feel like you have to do something? Maybe you feel a bit of both as conflicting thoughts and emotions which would be perfectly normal and valid.

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If even at this macro level you feel any type of resistance it is unlikely you will find it easy to build the healthy habits you desire. Why? Because you will continually but heads with that resistance.

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By gathering awareness about your thoughts and feelings you will be better able to navigate the ups and downs of your weight loss journey.

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This can sometimes not be easy, especially if you are going it alone and you may feel a little vulnerable. Remember to reach out for support in the membership or free Facebook group so you can ensure you are supported in a safe and welcoming environment.

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Your first step is to identify your resistance, where it comes from and how it affects you.

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Resistance can come from all sorts of places, past experiences, fear of failure, fear of change, or even fear of success plus many more. When you can identify the root cause of your resistance, you can begin to address it in a proactive and constructive way. This of course should not be attempted alone if you do not feel you can safeguard yourself so you may want to consider exploring 1 to 1 work whether that be with me or another suitable professional for the level of help you need.

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Remember that resistance is a natural part of any transformative journey, and by gathering awareness and stepping into action you can release it in turn aiding your 'weight loss' and well-being journey.

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So what are you resisting right now? Let me know.

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Picture this, you've decided to embark on a journey to release weight to transform your relationship with food, and you're determined to make healthier choices.

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You start super excited, you are doing all the things but, then somewhere along the way, the enthusiasm starts to wane. You know deep down that this will work for you, that you just need to do the work and that you will reap the benefits but something is stopping you.

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So you have stopped making realistic plans even though you know they simplify your day, you have stopped therefore assessing your day even though you were starting to see a number of patterns arising that if you changed them would change your life, your water bottle has become a desk decoration rather than a hydration buddy, you are staying up later than intended as that show, game or tik tok in the moment seems so much more appealing even though you know deep down you will feel like shit the next day and have more urges and cravings and you have stopped checking in with your accountability group as you have a little bit of shame about all of this and so you tell yourself you don't have time.

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Does this sound familiar?

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It's a scenario many of us have danced with and no doubt will face repeatedly because weight loss and working on our healthy habits is not linear. We go through ebbs and flows. It does not mean anything unless we apply meaning with our thoughts but likewise, it does not have to continue indefinitely as there is work you can do from a place of love and curiosity and you can keep it easy.

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Case Studies - Jane and Rosie:

Let me tell you a story using my character Jane. Jane remember, is all of us but yet none of us as I won't share actual client stories.

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Jane is a busy marketing professional and a mom. She started her weight release journey with gusto, but as the demands of her daily life increased, so did her resistance to meal planning. The voice in her head whispers, "It's too time-consuming, not worth the effort.", "Why is it always down to me?"; "I am sick of being responsible for what everyone eats"; "I am too tired, work has been mad today"; "It won't matter, nobody cares anyway"; "I can plan in my head I don't need to write it down";

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But here's the twist – Jane doesn't realise in the moment as her brain is feeding her all the reasons that she should not be making the plan that by skipping the plan, she's actually creating more chaos. Her dear brain although trying to keep her safe in that moment was actually doing her a disservice. The time she thought she was saving then turns into a daily freestyle battle, leaving her more exhausted than ever.

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Jane is not alone. Many of us face similar resistance, often fueled by beliefs that may not serve us. It's not just about the time or energy; it's about the stories we tell ourselves and the beliefs that lurk beneath the surface.

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The reality actually is that by not planning she has to do more thinking in the moment, she is still getting asked repeatedly what is for dinner and having to think and create on the fly after a busy day, she is still responsible for what everyone is eating as that is not a boundary that she has changed, she is still tired after work, it did actually matter as she was then more stressed and grabbing at food through the week and the plan she thought she had in her head 80% of it was not being followed as she would forget and or then started negotiating with herself.

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We then have Rosie, Rosie has been wanting to work on her hydration. She would know if she was in the membership that drinking water is important for overall health and also 'weight loss', but she struggles to stay consistent, in fact, she is struggling to get started at all.

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I would ask Rosie, have you looked into your blockers? What might be coming up consciously and subconsciously? She may then just repeat that she just finds drinking water hard, and that she doesn't think she is thirsty so doesn't drink.

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There are a number of things that could be going on with Rosie.

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I certainly have first-hand experience of getting so distracted and busy at work that my thirst has dissipated.

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I have at times thought water was boring. I don't remember being encouraged to drink water as a child (even though I probably was) but I do remember flavoursome squash (water flavourings if you are not a brit) and the tingle and jingle that I get from pop (soda). For the avoidance of doubt, hydration doesn't just have to be plain water.

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I have struggled to 'get my water in' because my favourite water bottles had to be thrown away.

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I also know that I have a preference for ice cold drinks and if the water gets warm I don't want it.

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I have also worried that if I drink too much I will need to pee and so I have limited my intake.

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So what are the things that get in the way of your health habits?

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Unravelling the reasons behind resistance is important. Not to blame and find excuses but to understand so you can better your relationship with the healthy habit/s that have slipped for your well-being and 'weight loss'.

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There is psychology at play here behind this resistance such as subconscious blocks but there is also things like environmental factors, societal influences, and emotional triggers that could all be contributing to Jane and Rose's struggles to maintain their healthy lifestyles. By addressing these underlying factors, they can develop future-focused strategies to overcome the resistance and start to make sustainable changes in her habits. This of course can all be done with love and a sprinkle of joy.

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Unpacking Resistance

So how do Jane and Rosie go about unraveling the negativity? How can they take positive steps forward?

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What did you pick out from Jane's story?

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As we delve into Jane's story, it's crucial to approach her resistance with a lens of empathy and understanding. Resistance is not a flaw; it's a natural response to the demands of a busy life but as a Coach I can help her to identify what is going on and to move forward.

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What I notice first is the inner dialogue, the little thoughts and niggles that reflect the complexity of her daily struggles. Those loud whispers in her mind reveal a mix of overwhelm, fatigue, and a sense of being burdened. At the end of the day these are signals, not shortcomings. By helping Jane to recognise the thoughts she is having Jane can start the journey towards understanding and transforming them.

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Jane's also has thoughts that skipping meal planning saves time. Which is a common trap. As her coach, I can gently guide her to recognise the illusion. In reality, the time spent on daily freestyling is likely more than the time invested in thoughtful meal planning. This realisation would like become a pivotal point for Jane to shift her perspective.

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Jane also suggests that the belief that her efforts don't matter and is likely to be a poignant point of resistance. Of course, Jane will not want to do the planning if she thinks it is pointless. but we could talk her about what this belief means on her stress levels, energy, and overall well-being, we could touch into her whys so that Jane could become empowered to see that her efforts do matter, not just to her but to the life she's creating

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At the end of the day Jane's brain, in its attempt to protect her, is inadvertently perpetuating chaos. If Jane was a Belief Coding client we could shift these old patterns or as a coach I can help her to unpick these on safe space, not to relive the moment they were created but for illumination so she can find a path forward.

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Jane also had moments where she was negotiating with herself which can be common when we are working on 'weight loss' but this can be desp;ved and a move made towards commitment and the celebration of wins.

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Jane could also try out the concept of mindful planning, perhaps journalling on the benefits of planning and finding purpose in the planning.

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It may be that Jane needs to consider whether she needs to set healthier boundaries, maybe talk to her family about redistributing responsibilities and shared accountability within her household.

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Or maybe she can brainstorm ways to make work less stressful, cooking and planning easier.

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There are always options as everything is figuroutable.

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Moving onto Rosie maybe on reflection if I was coaching Rosie she would realise that her busy schedule and constant on-the-go lifestyle make it difficult for her to remember to drink enough water throughout the day.

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Additionally, she often experiences stress at work, which leads her to reach for caffeinated beverages instead of water so we could coach around the stress so she craves the sugary drinks less as a form of comfort when the stress or fatigue or environmental influences are at play. She could also benefit from Belief Coding™️ to go back and heal the moment as maybe she was forced to drink luke warm water at school which her subconscious remembers and throws a hissy every time water is around but she does not realise her subconscious is making her rebel.

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Coaching and Belief Coding®️ are great as we can get to root of an issue fast. As members, you have access to the mind nijary section of the Food Freedom Course which is full of tools that can help, the STEAR model, TLC Method and Rewriting old stories each one a powerful tool. You can also seek help from the coaching available for your tier to make these changes.

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Closing:

Okey does that's it for this week folks.

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I will leave you to your thoughts and explorations around your healthy habits and how you feel about them remember to come from a place of self-love and curiosity as you explore how you tick.

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Be sure to reach out in the free Facebook group if you need signposting to support and members of course you have your members only group for support or coaching and be sure to grab this week's resource.