Ep 101 - Help The Scale Is Not Moving!

Faye Casement Author

Jul 07, 2024 |

Hello, hello, hello! Welcome back to another episode of the Wellness 4 Women Show. I'm Faye Casement, your Certified Life Coach and Belief Coding®️ Facilitator here to help you change your relationship with food, one bite and one belief at a time. Today, the topic is something I know many of you have struggled with if you are working on releasing physical weight... what to do when the scale is just not moving.

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Oh, we've all been there, haven’t we?

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That stubborn ass scale just seems to be on strike and the numbers just aren't budging.

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It can be soul-destroying, especially when you feel like you've been working so hard. It's then so easy to lose faith in our efforts and ourselves when working on 'weight loss'. The scale has been a big part of our diet dramas and the diet culture we found ourselves in for so long. It can be an easy trap to fall into time and time again as we let that number on the scale define our perception of our success and our worth.

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When the scale is not budging, we can start to think how 'Weight loss is hard,' that we 'Can't do this anymore,' and that 'I'm not good enough.'

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These beliefs can then create our reality, and before we know it, we're in a downward spiral of 'f*** it' eating and self-sabotage.

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But here's the truth: the underlying beliefs and thoughts are not facts. They're just stories we tell ourselves.

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And we can change those stories!

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Change the stories, change the emotions, the actions and results change too.

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Story Time

Let me tell you a story using my fictional character Jane.

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Jane had been working on weight loss for what felt like the whole of her adult life. She had been spending a lot of time working through her relationship with food, but the scale was not budging. She was starting to feel defeated. She felt like no matter what she did, the scale wouldn’t budge despite her best efforts. She felt like she was doing all the things she 'should' in order to release the physical weight. She often found herself thinking, 'Maybe I’m just meant to be this way,' 'What's the point,' 'This is just too hard,' 'I'm too busy to do this work,' 'It won't last even if I lose weight anyway, it never does,' 'I should just accept my body as it is and not be wanting to change it anyway,' 'I don't want to feel so bad every day about myself and my body.' Ultimately, everything she was doing felt really hard, the excitement she had was waning. The plans she was making felt restrictive. The food choices she was making left her uninspired. She didn't want to move her body. She started to feel done. She dreaded doing the work but yet also feared quitting and risking putting on more weight. She started to try to force herself to keep going. Telling herself that she 'should.' That she will never be 'thin' if she quits. That she will never achieve her dreams if she stops.

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Can you see the spiral of guilt and shame that Jane is weaving?

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The diet mentality and the pressure she has put herself under due to the scale not budging.

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I'm curious to know how you felt when I said 'the pressure she has put herself under?' Let me know in the chat.

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It really stuck out for me.

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I have been there in that cycle many times. I know the pressure, but if you told me I was putting myself under that pressure, I would probably bite your head off! Tell you that I was not putting myself under pressure. That I had to do what I was doing. That it was the only way I would get to my dreams.

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But deep down, Jane, and I, as I have done it, are fighting for the pain.

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It is easy to get so entrenched in the struggle that we can't see the pressure we are creating for ourselves.

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Jane, like me, would be embarrassed that she couldn't figure it out, that she wanted to quit. She'd feel weak, powerless, and out of control and unsure how to get herself out of this cycle, and likely find herself sinking deeper into a victim mindset.

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She'd be thinking 'Why can’t I get this right? What's wrong with me?' She'd feel like the only one struggling this way, even though she wasn't alone. She would scroll through social media, see others celebrating their weight loss milestones, and feel a pang of jealousy mixed with despair. 'I’ll never be like them.'

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This mindset is what can keep us stuck. Jane, being so focused on the number on the scale that she can't see anything else? She can’t see the other positive changes she was making. Maybe her energy levels had improved, her skin could be glowing, maybe she was sleeping better than she had in years.

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But she couldn't see these non-scale victories because her mind was fixated on that one number.

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So what does Jane do? How does she get away from the scale drama?

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First up, she has to realise this is happening. Sometimes we can be so in the thick of it that we don't realise we are doing it.

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If you are listening/watching or reading this on the blog today and this resonates and creates an aha moment of 'that is me,' then I'm glad. Now you are able to work on making the change you need to get yourself out of the doldrums and drama and into loving action, but first a bit more awareness.

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Now is the time to take a really deep loving and curious look at what is going on. What are you thinking, feeling, and doing? Where is the resistance coming up? The scale not moving is the result. Before you get to the result, you have to have had a belief, thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is a bit like blaming the goalie in football to use an analogy when there is a whole team to get through before it gets to the goal.

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It's time to do an audit and really drill into the nuts and bolts of what you have going on. If you are a member, that is your complimentary gift, as well as encouraging you to revisit the Scale Drama workbook in the course, you'll have a workbook to help you do the audit. If you are working with me as a Belief Coding®️ client, let's look at those underlying beliefs that are holding you back and facilitate them away.

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There is often more going on than meets the eye and plenty to do in order to not only feel better and get rid of the drama but to also get that needle moving if that is the loving goal you have set for yourself.

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Where you go from here will depend on your audit, so members reach out in the dedicated group, share and seek coaching support.

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For those of you listening who are not members, don't forget you can come join us, but here are some other things you can try.

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Action Against Scale Drama

Catch and Reframe Your Thoughts

Notice what you are thinking, and every time you do, seek to flip the script. Members, you again have a few guides and tools on this should you need it in your portal.

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Ask yourself, is this true? Is this loving? What could you think instead as a basic? I call this the TLC method.

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What would happen if Jane started to challenge her thoughts?

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Maybe Jane would realise that every time she told herself she couldn’t do it, she was setting herself up for failure. She could then start to give herself some TLC. Instead of 'I can’t,' she started saying, 'I’m making progress every day.' She would start to realise that those untrue thoughts are unkind and stopping her from realising all the great progress she has been making, such as the changes in her energy levels and her mood, and that maybe she is actually on the verge of a breakthrough that will lead to the physical changes too. Remember, our beliefs are powerful. They can either be our biggest obstacle or our greatest ally.

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Viva the NSVs

The scale is not the be-all and end-all, so let's talk more about Non-Scale Victories, or NSVs for short. Just in case you don't know what these are, these are the little wins that have nothing to do with the number on the scale. Like fitting into that old pair of jeans, sleeping better, or having more energy to play with your kids. These victories are just as important, if not more so, than what the scale says. When you start celebrating these moments, and I mean really celebrating them, see how it changes your perspective.

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Reduce the Resistance

When the scale isn't moving, it often feels like heavy resistance. We have all heard the analogy of pushing a boulder uphill. This resistance isn't a sign that you can't do it; it's just a mental block. It might feel tough, but it's not the truth. You can overcome it by practising mindfulness, using positive affirmations, and being kind to yourself. It’s all about reducing that mental drama. The mental drama is what makes it feel hard, but our thoughts can be changed as we have already discussed, but resistance runs a bit deeper. What we resist persists, so is there something you are not addressing? The audit will help uncover this, but what is really bugging you?

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Step Away from the Results & Focus on the Fundamentals!

The method I have shared with you through the podcast and in the membership is the recommended daily fundamentals. Make a realistic plan, listen to your body, do a curious/kind assessment, power up, and share with others. I have also offered up over time the importance of building healthy habits, water, sleep, and movement.

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These are process goals, not outcome goals. They are things you can tangibly affect on a day-to-day basis and see the results of your actions, and these are what move the needle on the scale.

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When we do anything for a while, we can feel like we have it on lock, but actually, there is a danger we have been letting things slide a little. It is just something that happens, but this is the time to step into loving action and check in on what you are doing. Do you need to refocus? Are you making your plans? Listening to your body? Doing your curious/kind assessments, making your power-ups, and sharing your journey, etc.? If not, why not? They have been suggested for a reason. Because they work! Because they help you to get the needle moving, to help you fit into the trousers, to increase your energy, to help you work on your sleep.

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It is time to be honest with yourself and take unfettered ownership. Are you going in the direction you wish to travel more often than not? And if not, why not? And what can you do about it? Think, how can I do this? How can I make it easy both mentally and physically?

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Be Kind!

Accountability is key here, but are you treating yourself with kindness and adopting loving curiosity? Are you taking small, loving, actionable steps every day? It's not about perfection; it's about progress. Hold yourself accountable, but do it with love. It is when we are being mean to ourselves, telling ourselves that we should just like Jane was, that it feels so damn hard. Remember your language... I get to... I choose to... I want to. We naturally run from pain and run towards pleasure. If your thoughts are all negative, you will feel negative, and you won't want to do it, so ensure your reframes are positive.

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Conclusion

Right, that's it, ladies! Next time the scale isn’t budging, take a deep breath. Reflect on your beliefs, celebrate those NSVs, reduce your resistance, and focus on your fundamentals. You've got this!

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If you are not already in there, be sure to join our Wellness 4 Women community for more support and share your takeaways with a #gem. The free and paid groups are safe spaces where we support each other, share our victories, and learn together. Check out the description to grab the details of how to join. Until next week... bye for now.