Ep 83 - Food Freedom Ask Me Anything Jan 2024

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Wellness for Women show.
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This week is a slightly different episode because it an ask me anything. And so I have been looking to talk to people all week with regards to their burning questions. So watch out for these posts going live and it's your opportunity to have free coaching and free input from a certified life coach and soon to be accredited belief coding facilitator.
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I can't wait to get accredited and share this modality properly with the world. I've obviously been helping lots of people whilst I've been in training, but But yeah, to actually get accredited and be able to help people regularly through my offerings. I'm also training to be a master facilitator as well, which means watch out for some group programs landing as well, because that will allow me to bring it to a group.
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And honestly, it is an amazing it's an amazing experience. So without further ado, do let's get into the questions I've had this week. So one of the questions was, I've tried so many diets in the past and none of them have seemed to work for me. How can I break free from this cycle of yo yo dieting and find a sustainable path to weight loss?
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So this is absolutely my jam and what I want to help women with. After years of yo yo dieting myself, trying different things, desperate for something to stick. What worked for me and what I now teach is about looking to recognize your own patterns. It's all about your relationship with food and your overall holistic well being.
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So diets will tell us what to eat and how to move our bodies. They can often feel very restrictive. They're not something that are usually sustainable over the course of a lifetime. And so, certainly with my methods, it's all about ditching the diet, ditching the, ditching the yo yo, ditching trying to find new solutions.
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And it's about working on your relationship with food. The biggest and most important thing when you're looking to find a sustainable path to weight loss is to actually figure out how you tick. So it's actually about the why. It's more about why you eat as well as also things like when and how and who with.
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So it's about how life and weight loss go together rather than, rather than Rather than, rather than like say so much about the what, obviously the what does come into it, but again, it's about doing these things with love and curiosity. So, identifying why you eat is a big factor. And for a lot of us who have struggled with weight, and I use the word weight, even though it's because it's what everybody recognizes, but of course it's not necessarily about weight.
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I very much strongly believe in health at every size. So when you hear me say weight, then You know, read past that effectively, but a lot of us have struggled with our emotions and so a lot of the time the reasons that we well, in fact, always we only ever eat because of our emotions because our thoughts lead to our emotions lead to our actions.
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So we actually are. our brains wouldn't lead us to eating, the action of eating, if we didn't have an emotion first. And we have a lot of reasons for those triggers. Some of those triggers can be for genuine physical hunger, which is again, what I try and help my members to tap into is their genuine physical needs rather than looking to use food as an emotion, as an emotion solver.
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So from there, once you get that awareness, again, my methods, the triple A way method, which is awareness, action, and accountability. Once you have that awareness about how you tick, why you eat, when you eat, who, who you tend to eat with the places where you tend to eat or overeat from for your physical needs, then we can start to help.
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You to step into action and then you can start to craft a personalized plan that fits you because this is a thing with calories and points and everything like that, that doesn't factor in very easily, or I certainly didn't find it. And if it does for you, brilliant, but I didn't find that it fitted in with my life.
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Because I I didn't necessarily always have a set of scales to be able to weigh something and I personally very much love dairy and bread and therefore certain weight loss methods out there would have me limit that on a daily basis and so it was always like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
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And so I would encourage you to look at whether the method you're currently using actually works for you or whether you are better to choose something more holistic. And that ultimately that's what my method is. It's based around intuitive eating, around trying to find a healthier relationship with food rather than restrictive diets.
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And obviously there's a community. to boot with all of that as well. And from there as well, it's about taking tiny little action steps because what tends to happen with us is we start a diet on Monday, we go hell for leather at it and we burn out by Tuesday. In fact, I've started diets and I've burnt out by Monday afternoon.
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And so it's, if it doesn't feel good, you're not going to want to do it. And so it's all about. Making small micro steps in the right direction that you can then sustain and you will then find that you're that you do change your relationship with food. Okay, next question. I often struggle with emotional eating and cravings.
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Can you provide guidance on how we overcome these tendencies and develop a healthier relationship with food? If cravings is something that you struggle with, definitely watch this space because in a few weeks time, I am hosting the Wellness for Women January bundle. It's predominantly aimed at women, mums, caregivers mums to be this.
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There's over 30 gifts coming in there. So if you're catching this on the podcast and it's a couple of years time, then unfortunately you've missed it. However, if you are watching this live, then watch out for that landing and certainly still check out my my offerings, because what I'm building for especially is a cravings.
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Mega bundle, which is basically a collection of items, some that I've got in the membership and some of which are going to be new, which is going to help you with your cravings. So we've got other episodes of the Wellness for Women show, which are around cravings. And there's also resources in the membership.
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But one thing that I am going to be doing this week or should I say next week is I am going to be doing an episode on cravings and specifically where do they come from? Because again, I think certainly from past diets, for me, cravings and urges and the two things are different. I didn't know why I was having them.
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It was just, it was more about the fact that we needed to work on our willpower around these cravings and these urges, and you just have to say no to them, but actually it's about looking at where they come from. So when you have a craving, you are actually craving the emotion that that food brings you.
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So for example, and I've told this story umpteen times, but I'll tell it again. I have a tendency when I need comfort to go towards baked goods because me, I used to bake with my Nan. And so for me, baked goods are, are love and they're like little warm hugs. Basically, if I need something then I will tend to go towards cake and biscuits because that's what we used to, but that's what we used to make what we used to make and bake effectively.
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Other people might have chocolate, so if you've got a relationship with chocolate, where did that come from? Chances are there's something in your childhood that put chocolate on a pedestal, whether that be because you couldn't have it and therefore you wanted it so badly that you now have an, have a a much stronger connection to it, or you might have had a family member where you shared chocolate with.
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So there's certain chocolate bars for me that are important, like Turkish Delights and Walnut Whips, although I don't eat them because, again, they remind me of my nan, and she was obviously a very, very important person to me. And I know. Certainly some of the ladies that I help have got these emotional connections to certain food items for various reasons, which I'm not going to go into obviously for sensitivity of, of their, the fact that they're sharing these things with me in a safe space.
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But it's usually something that comes from childhood and there could be a couple of things where it comes from childhood. And so we can unpick that. We can unpick that with coaching and we can unpick it. With belief coding as well. So belief coding goes in at the subconscious level, life coaching, it's about what can you cognitively remember and then working that through.
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So if you were in the membership, there is an exercise on rewriting your stories. But it's, it's, it's just about recognising that you are having those sometimes in, in the first place. So again, that whole awareness. Do you even realize that you're having a craving so that you might notice before that one's building that you're starting to think about that food, you might have You might notice during that you're having it and you will certainly more likely be aware after you've had the craving.
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So at some point you will notice that you're having that craving. So again, a craving is for it's when you're craving an emotion, really. And then an urge is something that's more urgent. You're not craving a specific food, you're just craving anything can usually with an urge. You're actually trying to get away from an emotion.
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I'm in an emotion. I'm in an emotion. I'm trying to get away from an emotion. So if you are feeling stressed or anxious, then you might be going towards food in order to stop feeling the stress or the anxiety. Or if you are in physical discomfort, you might be using it as a tool, as a crutch to try and move away from.
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the physical sensation of pain as well. So again, handy to know and gather this awareness around why are you craving? Why are you urging? What is it that you actually really need rather than the food? And then you can again start to step into action and develop strategies around Those emotions. So that might be working on stress might be working on anxiety.
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It might be working on the fact that you're being triggered that you've got your buttons pressed, or it might be that you're actually needing to look at your physical pain, your physical sensations or your environment. So that you can then create a plan for addressing those in a balanced, but yet satisfying way, because you are still needing whatever it is that you're, you're trying to get away from, or needing, if you see what I mean, whether it's a craving or craving or an urge.
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And of course, again, sharing these things, sharing these things together in a safe community, like the free group, like the paid group, so that you can experience these things with each other and to know that you are not alone. And also you can document your progress as well. So that again, it's more likely to stick stick in place, basically.
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Because once you, what I always say, once you see something, you can't unsee it. Okay. Third question. So so say I want to prioritize my well being, but I've got a busy life with work and family responsibilities. How can I incorporate mindfulness and self care into my daily routine? So yes, recognizing, first things first, recognizing the importance of that self care and looking to try and build that into your health and well being.
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in your day. It's not necessarily always as easy as, as you would ideally like, of course, but there is always opportunity to identify moments. I mean, the story goes, isn't it, that you will always find time for, for, for what you need to. So, for example, my daughter had to go to the A& E the other day. And so, I found time to be able to take her to the A& E.
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And so there is always a way, if there's a, where there's a way, where there's a will, there's a way, as the saying goes. But it doesn't have to be huge amounts of time. And I think that's the thing, sometimes we make these mountains, we make mountains out of molehills. So it could be that, again, you can have mindful moments while you're brewing the kettle, while you're going to the loo, just while you're swapping between tasks.
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But it's just about finding these little micro moments that you can then incorporate that mindfulness and self care. Again, it's starting small. And again, the key is there is these micro moments, really, because, again, the point I'm filming this and anybody who's watching live, we've obviously just had New Year.
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And so this is where New Year's resolutions usually fall flat on their face because again, we start off with huge declarations, huge, huge plans, huge goals, which is great, but we have to break them down. We have to break them down into small manageable chunks. You know, nobody turned up on the first of January this year and all of a sudden was this completely different human being who all of a sudden can have this glorious morning routine full of meditation, full of yoga, full of all the The foods that they're wanting to eat for their body.
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It just doesn't work like that. We don't work like that. We are humans. We are not robots at the end of the day. But that doesn't mean to say that you shouldn't have a plan, that you shouldn't have a goal. Of course you can. You can have your ideal situation. Knowing where you want to be is absolutely critical.
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And then you can start to, to, to retrofit. that, that back in with these little steps and again, sharing this amongst each other, sharing ideas, sharing wins, sharing situations that we've come across because again, that, that sort of, that problem shared is, is a problem half and also going, going a layer deeper as well and looking at why are we not, why are we not?
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showing up for ourselves, showing up for this self care, why we're not building in that mindfulness. There may well also be some underlying beliefs in there, like I'm not worth the time, or I should be spending time looking after other people, or I don't have time. Again, that's a belief that a lot of us will believe that we don't have time, whereas actually I say we can find time.
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We can find time to watch Netflix. We can find time to play online games. Therefore, we can find time to do whatever it is for our health and well being. The question is, why? Why aren't we doing it? Where's the resistance? And that again can be unpicked with with, with more coaching. So next one is, I've heard about intuitive eating, but I'm not sure how to get started.
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Can you explain the principles behind it and how it can help me to achieve my health goals? So yeah, so at its core, so true intuitive eating is actually about rejecting diet mentality. So anything where there would be diet, there wouldn't be any any any measuring, any weighing, and certainly if you were to join the membership, for example, that is completely optional, because it is either working, it's more about working on your relationship with food, and then if you are wanting to work on weight loss, your weight will follow once you have the other duckies effectively in a row.
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But it's a, it's a holistic It's a holistic modality. So it is about getting in tune with your body, with your mind, your body, and your spirit spirit, soul, whatever you want to, whatever you want to call it. So it is about looking to eat when you physically need to eat. It's looking to work on stopping when you are physically at enough food to sustain you to your next meal.
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If you are wanting to then work on weight loss and slightly tweak the rules with regards to intuitive eating, then it's about exploring that with kindness and gentleness and genuine loving curiosity and just dabbling about experimenting with quantity and quality. We don't need to count. It's about no counting, no calories, no points, no nothing.
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It's about moving our bodies with, with love. So again, it's not about setting ourselves up for grueling routines that we don't want to do. If you enjoy them, if you want to work on building towards doing more routines, that's absolutely fine. But it's not a case of saying that you have to, you should, or you must.
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And then it's also about looking to Be friends with food at the end of the day. If you have tried umpteen diets over the years, you may well have a pretty busted relationship with food. There might be a lot of, I shouldn't eat this, a lot of guilt, a lot of shame around certain foods. You might think that certain foods are good or bad, all of which are potentially harmful to your relationship with food and then ultimately your wellbeing, because if you are then not feeling good around food, that can then show up in your overall well being.
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And so it's about looking again at yourself like a whole human being. You are more than what you eat, you are more than how you move, and that all needs to get taken into account. And that's what intuitive eating, mindful eating, weight loss with love, and all that loving curiosity, that's where all of that comes into it.
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And so if you want to get started, it would be about just starting to A. Ditch the diet. So let go of that, start to work on letting go of those old rules, thinking that you have to count calories, have to count points because you genuinely do not in order to look after your well being. It's about looking to actually start listening to your body and listening to your mind.
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So effectively taking your foot off of autopilot and stepping into being the creator of your, of your life, of your, your life, your weight loss, your well being, whatever it is that you want to work on. And it's a really powerful thing to then do to take that control and ownership of yourself in all areas.
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And again, what you then will find is that it knocks into life. So when I say I call my AAA way method, it's a life. It's a life and food freedom method because the same method can be used in anything that you want to work on in life. So if you are struggling with something at work, struggling with a relationship, you can use the same method.
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And ultimately, if you are happier at work, happier in your relationships, you are less likely then to want or need. emotional stability through food, and so therefore it will show up in your food as well. So it's just about getting started, ultimately, and just starting to, to, to listen. Whereas normally we, we just go through life not listening to our minds and bodies.
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And then I say stepping into loving action, depending on what it is that you what it is that you find when you start listening. Last question. So accountability is something that I struggle with. I start with good intentions, but I often lose motivation along the way. How can I stay on track and maintain consistent progress on my wellness journey?
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So so yeah, accountability is, is important. So, If you struggle with self accountability, and I would say a lot of us do, because let's face it, when nobody's watching, it's very easy to just say, well, nobody knows anyway. So having some kind of accountability system, accountability partners, accountability groups, or obviously joining, let's say, Facebook groups, like the free community, like the membership.
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So that you've got that, so that you've got that support. But again, it goes back to what I was saying earlier. It goes back to looking at, well, what are you, what methods are you actually using? Are you using methods that you want to do? Because half the time we're trying to fit that square peg in a round hole.
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We're trying to do things that we're not actually aligned with, that we don't actually want to do. Now, that's not to say that you can't do the hard thing. It's not to say that you can't do those things. But is it sustainable? And if you want it to be sustainable, then we can work on finding a way to help you to make it more sustainable.
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And again, often that involves chunking it down. Often it involves working on your mindset around those things. But if you catch yourself saying that I should, I have to, and I must, then it's about mindset. And so tomorrow's episode that's actually coming out on the podcast, which again, for those who are listening.
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on the podcast later on is episode 77 is just about to drop tomorrow. That's all around rules and your own personal values and how that could be impacting into into eating. But ultimately it's about setting realistic, and I mean, super realistic, realistic intentions. So in the membership, I encourage my members to make.
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daily realistic intentions with an absolute emphasis on the word realistic because the more doable you make it the more you realize that actually you can do that thing and so you become the little train that can and you're kind of chugging up that hill you know I think I can I think I can I think I can whereas when you choose methods that are more restrictive and harsher in nature, then, then typically you're trying to use willpower and you can, you can only go so far, you're going to run out of steam and then, and then that's when the backslides start to happen.
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And so again, it's about having action steps that are realistic as well, and that you, that you want to do and all the why work that we can do. So hopefully I'm demonstrating really that again, our relationships with food are our life and our food freedom so much more than food, so much more than how we move.
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And so it's not about dieting. It really is about how we are connected together as one holistic whole human being because as I say we are not robots. It's why at the end of my signature on my email it says coach, podcaster and human because at the end of day I'm human. I am human too. I make mistakes.
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I don't always listen to my body. I don't always listen to my mind. In fact You know, it's something that I'm still on my, I'm still on my journey with regards to my body, my weight loss, my mind, and that's the whole beauty of this method that it will see you through all of the seasons because I thought that I had all of my mind and body on lock, for example, and then. situation cropped up that then changed that. And so it meant I've had to go back to, figuring out. But that is okay. But that's hugely different to yo yo dieting. I'm not looking for the next quick fix. I'm not looking to try and do something extreme. to change that situation.
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I know that that is not going to help me overall. I'm going to be damn kind to myself in the process because I deserve love, attention and to give myself that to give myself that grace. And I want you. to help you guys to do that too, because often we don't. We can beat ourselves up for the things that occur in life, in weight loss.
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And so that's why weight loss with love, the key is in the love part, and treating ourselves kindly whilst we're going through that process. And that in itself, will help with the sustainability, with the motivation, with the momentum, because we are then running towards something that is something worth running towards, rather than trying to force ourself towards something that is not pleasant and we don't want to do.
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at the end of the day. So on that note, I am going to love you and leave you and watch out for episode 77 dropping on the podcast tomorrow if you're watching this live and if you're catching this on the podcast then make sure that you join the free group. Make sure that you check out the links in the descriptions about how you can join the membership and how you and I can start working on helping you to find.
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Food and life freedom. So bye for now.
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