Ep 77 - Rules Smules! Is The Diet Rule Book Impacting Your 'Weight Loss'?

Faye Casement Author

Nov 02, 2023 |

Hello hello hello and welcome to the Wellness 4 Women Show Episode number 77! Rules Smules! Is The Diet Rule Book Impacting Your 'Weight Loss'?

As I am filming today it is Halloween week so we have a different visual theme and something scary to cover!

Food and diet rules!!

Hands up who feels like they have been on more diets than they have had hot dinners? If you had to guess how many would you say you have been on? How many different ones have you tried?

I dieted at least once a year I think since my early 20s. I've done Calorie Counting, Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Fasting, Atkins, Slimfast, Whole 30. Slimming World was probably the main go-to as I was enticed by the claim you could eat as much as you wanted as long as it was 'free' food. But none of them worked long term.

For each, I diligently sat down with the guidebook or online guides and poured over the material studying the rules, and the system so I could finally find success in weight loss, to acquire the body I always longed for. So that I could finally be happy, confident and 'normal'.

I craved ease, I didn't really want to be doing the diet. I begrudged it. The fact I couldn't just like a 'normal' person. Why did it have to be so hard and time-consuming?

What I didn't realise, because the 'diets' sure as hell didn't tell me was that I was how these diets were affecting my well-being and relationship with food. With each one I did I would have rules to follow and that I had to follow them for life to see long-term success. That I was actually damaging my relationship with food and myself to boot because when 'dieting' I was obsessing over what I could and couldn't eat. It became a constant battle of willpower, and I felt like a failure every time I slipped up or gave in to my cravings. I felt like a failure for being human.

As a recovering perfectionist, these failures hurt deeply and I didn't have the mindset guidance to deal with them so I'd eventually quit as it was all 'too hard'.

When I found my mentor it was a breath of fresh air. She said I didn't have to follow these rules any more. I didn't have to count calories, points, syns or eliminate food.

Whaaaat?

But this was only part of the story! Through my own journey and the extra learning I have done around our belief systems, it is not just the diets that have created the rules we carry around today. It is our past experiences.

Today I want to give you a gift. I want to help you see that the diet rules you have gathered and the 'Diet Rule book' you have built up over the years and the beliefs it instils could be a load of BS. I want to give you the gift of freedom!

Unpacking the Diet Rule Book

Firstly, tell me have you heard of the concept of the 'diet rule' book? We can actually have rules and underlying rule books for all things in life and it is worth unpicking them all but today we are focusing on the diet rule book.

From a young age, we are bombarded with messages about how we should eat, and what foods to avoid. What is supposedly 'good' and 'bad' for us? Likewise, we have been conditioned over the years by our surroundings about what our bodies should and should not look like. How we should act and behave etc whether this is from diets, society, parents, peers, the media etc. When it comes to food and eating you will have your own personal rule book. A set of guidelines that dictate your relationship with food that ultimately shapes your perception of yourself, your food and how you eat.

You have likely lived with some of them so long they are ingrained in you. You may not even know you have them but you will.

From past diets you may have a seemingly endless list of rules to follow in order to achieve your desired body image or health goals. Maybe you have rules and beliefs around the need to restrict certain food groups, that you need to count calories meticulously, or adhere to strict eating schedules.

From your childhood, you may have rules about finishing your plate, and eating food when it is given to you as it is polite. That you should always supply food to guests. Bring cake on your birthday to work or even have cake on your birthday. You may have rules around you or your kids eating your greens.

As a result of your own internal rule book you may find yourself obsessing over these details and sometimes this can come at the expense of your mental, emotional and in some cases, physical well-being.

We don't want that.

I should clarify that rules themselves, loving boundaries and guidelines are not 'bad'. But anything that is perpetuating harmful patterns, making you feel like crap, and setting unrealistic expectations for yourself may be something to look at if you want to improve your relationship with food.

What you are looking for is anything that creates an unhealthy mindset around food by promoting restriction rather than nourishment or anything that perhaps does not acknowledge the fact that your body and metabolism may actually benefit in a different way.

This is where intuitive style eating fits perfectly to help you break free from the grip of the diet rule book as you can work on your mind, body and soul.

There is no need for complex rules and systems you just need to learn how to listen to your body and mind.

You can learn to let go of guilt or shame embracing all foods in moderation. You can challenge these old norms and strive for a more balanced and compassionate approach to nourishing your body and mind.

If you have guilt and shame coming up be sure to go back to episode 50 and if you are in the membership of course check out the resource to help you overcome guilt and shame around food.

The Unseen 'Shoulds', 'Musts', 'Habits'

As I said this week is Halloween week so it seems fitting to talk about all the things that go bump in the night. I have been having great fun in the free community with a trick or treat them so if you are catching this live be sure to join as you could win free coaching.

So back to things that go bump... bump in the night, the day, the morning, the evening. I am talking about our thoughts.

Our conscious and unconscious thoughts. Always there and present but not always fully seen just like a ghost.

Do you get the ghostly whispers of... I shouldn't eat that... or if I eat that I will get fat...

Do you get a ghoul rattling your chains when the clock strikes midnight and you're still awake, reminding you of all the unfinished tasks? Or perhaps you have a phantom hand that reaches out for snacks when you try to focus on something important?

Our thoughts can be like mischievous spectres, haunting our every move.

They can be full of doubts, fears, and insecurities that lurk in the shadows of our minds. These ghostly whispers have a way of creeping into our consciousness when we least expect it and ultimately is what knocks into how we think and feel about outselves as well as how we show up around food.

The question is are you clear on all of your shoulds, musts, have tos and habits? Have you gathered that awareness? Have you figured out the action steps you need to take and super sleuthed your well-being? Have you got accountability and support in place to help you on the way? This is where the membership can come in to help you with ghosts of the past, present and future.

In the membership this week I am releasing a list of typical dieting shoulds, musts, rules and habits and some tips on how to overcome them. 'Want in? Join today.

Embracing Your Inner Angels and Demons

Sticking on the theme halloweenie theme let's take a little nosey at what fears and concerns you might have coming up at the thought or doing some inner work and facing your inner demons and rules.

Are you like I was and think there is nothing to work on only to find out that life and her curve balls give me plenty of inner work to practice?

Are you worried there are skeletons in your closet and that if you open the door just a crack you fear you'll get overwhelmed?

Maybe you think you already have it all figured out, that you know the angels and demons? So what then?

Asking yourself these questions is important. Identifying any resistance is critical if you want to move forward in life or weight loss. If you want to find personal growth and freedom.

What I would say is that you have nothing to fear with the right tools and support. In the membership we work on our own unique paths, we do so with love so we don't pull out our inner demons kicking and screaming. It is about learning how to flex like a "mother chucker" noticing the rules, noticing any resistance they may create and then with love working through them at a speed that suits you.

Life is not a race to the end and your healing journey shouldn't be either.

Building Your Unique 'Weight Loss' Method & Rip Up The Rulebook

The overarching message today is to rip up the rulebook and build your own unique 'Weight Loss' method.

You gotta do you 'BOO' (see what I did there 🤣 I know I know I love me some cheeeese)

Find what works for you, ditch all that diet BS you have been fed over the years. Count this, don't eat that they do not serve you in the long run I promise.

Work on lowering the life fear factors with love and compassion. Embrace the angels and demons in your cupboard with love and acceptance. Forgive your past, present and design your future.

Wrapping Up:

Right, that's it folks! Keep working on breaking free from the traditional weight loss methods and embrace your unique journey.

Work on ditching the rules and ditching the diet drama you've collected over the years.

Continue figuring out your angels and demons and what truly works for you.

And of course, don't waste your time counting calories or restricting certain foods that don't serve you in the long run.

Instead, shift your focus towards reducing life's fear factors with love and compassion.

Embrace both the angels and demons residing in your inner world and work on accepting them as part of you.

Don't forget to join the membership today and grab this week's member resource: 'The Skeletons In Your Closet - 30 possible diet rules you may have and tips for how to overcome them'