Ep: #44 - Are You Wishing For Weight Loss

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Have you ever noticed how many wishes you make in a day?

I don't just mean on your birthday as you blow out the candles but as you go about your daily life?

I caught myself doing it this week sparking this episode and I think you may be able to relate.

So I caught myself wandering around the house making wishes.

• Wishing the house would tidy itself,
• Wishing I wasn't the only one who turned the lights off,
• Wishing I had a chef to cook me healthy food,
• Wishing I had more time in the day.

And then I realized - I was wishing for weight loss!

I realised I had been wishing the weight would just magically fall off.

You see I had a gain recently, no biggy these things are going to happen and I want to release the weight off again so that my clothes would start fitting a little better again and because I noticed some of my habits had slipped which are habits I deem important to me personally and who I want to be.

It has taken me a while to process the gain.

I will admit I have been 'shoulding' all-over myself! I am human after all

"I shouldn't have had a gain"

"I thought I was further on than this"

"You are a weight loss coach damn it get your shit together!"

Judgement, that lovely creature you have met in multiple episodes was out in full force.

I have of course been applying my TLC method and asking myself are these things True, Loving and getting curious but sometimes these things take a while to work through and that is OK.

My life and your life will be a twist of ebbs and flows and this was a lesson I had to learn about being in maintenance (but that is for another episode).

So what is coming up?

In today's episode, I want to explore ways in which you can spot what you are 'wishing' for and if weight loss is one of those.

If you want access to the show notes check the description box.

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Before I do, Super quick intro for those new to my world, I am Faye Casement. I am a life and weight loss coach and I can help you put together the pieces of life and weight loss and help you craft your own unique and more joyful life & weight loss journey. If you want to find out more about how I can help you drop me a message on any of my socials, link in the description or comments.

So back to wishing for weight loss.

I know I am not alone

We all wish for things consciously and unconsciously. We all have hopes, aspirations, dreams, wants and desires.

I bet if you got a piece of paper now you could fill an A4 piece of paper with wishes. In actual fact it could be an interesting exercise so why not stop reading the blog, pause this video or podcast, unless you are watching live, in which case stay with me ladies and go do the exercise.

Go and grab a piece of paper and just have a big brain dump of everything you wish. Start the link with 'I wish...' and see what flows!

That list will give you valuable awareness as those are things you will be carrying around with you and they will either be conscious things you know you do or they are sitting deep in your brain and bubbling under the surface.

Doesn't matter what they are, little niggles, big niggles, wants, dreams, aspirations they are all there.

Why not come back and share your list or maybe your top three in the Wellness 4 Women's Group Member Support Group or Free Group wherever you are a member as it could be interesting again to see which ones are top of the bill for you and everything we share is a community is valuable to one and another so we can see we are not alone.

So again this got me thinking.

This time about manifesting.

It's an area I have been reading about and little and this woman keeps popping up in an ad on Facebook shouting at me in a Yorkshire accent about manifesting. Anyone else get her ads do you know who I mean? Are you really taken in by ads... I am so susceptible! Let me know it is not just me!

I had a call with someone for example, that I bought a course from the other day from an ad, great course for only £3 and I was practically fangirling over her... crazy!

Anyway...

Manifesting.

This lady, regularly shouts at me about how I need to listen up. Manifestation is not just about calling out to the universe it is about a set of beliefs. Manifestation is not just about having beliefs is about action.

Pooof... mind blown!

I mean I know this anyway from my life coaching training. I say all the time.. where your attention goes your energy flows but I clearly needed to hear it in a different way and her repeated message is, an example, of that.

You see the reasons why the ads work are because they are targeting and retargeting us. Giving us the same or similar messages over and over. Each ad you see makes you build that know, like and trust in that person even though you have never met them from Adam.

Stay with me here I am coming to the point.

The point is just wishing and wanting something to happen does not make it happen.

You have to believe. This starts with your thoughts.

You have to feel it. Your thoughts lead to your emotions.

You have to act on that emotion. You take steps to get you further to what you want.

You get the result... you have manifested your desire!

So the problem with wishing is it is not believing and sometimes we need to drum belief into our heads and reprogram the wiring just like they are doing with the ads.

Does that make sense let me know as I do have a tendency to tangent!

Wishing I realised is sneaky!.

It can lull you into false hope. It can make you think you have done enough, you can feel so tired as you have been going around all day wishing and wanting but then end up disappointed because none of it comes true and the reality is you may not have actually even began or maybe you are half-assing it and really don't realise.

I will give you an example.

Maybe you wish for a new car. Everyday. You look at a clapped-out piece of junk on the driveway wishing it was a shiny new car.

You have a choice, you can stare out the window every day wishing it was different and feel mentally exhausted by all the thoughts you have about the car and the final result will be continued judgement on the car or you can take action.

Let me run you through a coaching model for this:

Situation: (Always neutral something we could all agree): Car is 10 years old, has dents, is a family car.

Thought: I wish I had a new car, that one is sooo old and untrendy. (Showing my age I believe the kids call it 'Peng' nowadays lol.

Emotion: Judgement

Action: Continue to sit looking out the window hating the car. Get so annoyed about car you go knee-deep in custard creams!

Result: No new car, increased frustration, emotional eating. PoOp spiral.

Zero judgement... human remember this is how we work. The key is to get the awareness you are doing it, from there take action, and work on doing so consistently with accountability and support.

So what could that look if you got coached on this topic.

What if you looked out the window but thanks to coaching changed the stinking thinking that leaves you stuck?

Situation (neutral something we could all agree): Car is 10 years old, has dents, is a family car,

Thought: "I don't like that car I would like a new one. I chose to believe I will be able to get a new car one day" or if you can go straight for gold-level thinking and believe it "I will have a new car I just need to figure out how"

Emotion: Hope / determination

Action: Brainstorm ways to get money for car, take actions to make the money, and consistently work on it.

Result: New car at some point in future

Boom! Manifestation or a wishes come true right.

I should say I am not a manifestation expert so if you are feel free to tell me if I am getting that all wrong but hopefully, that demonstrates the power of our thoughts.

So moving back to weight loss.

The truth is, wishing for weight loss won't make it happen.

If you're serious about losing weight, then you need to take the necessary steps to figure out why you might be stuck and how to get unstuck so you can finally start seeing results.

I was thinking again about when the wishing for weight loss can happen.

I came up with 3 times.

Pre-Weight Loss

So you are thinking about losing weight but not actively on a weight loss journey. You could be spending a lot of time here wishing. I know I have done this before.

Maybe you spend your time wishing:

• you were smaller,
• had different clothes,
• could do different activities,
• felt more confident in the bedroom,
• had less knee pain, back pain, indigestion

I get it, the thought of starting a weight loss journey can be daunting. Where do you even begin? What if you fail? What if you succeed and then regain the weight?

These are all valid concerns you are having because you are having them no feeling is invalid. The problem is when you let them keep you from starting your journey.

What if you keep that same wish list of changes for years and are still in the same place in 5 years' time or possibly worse off? I am not trying to be judgey, we all make decisions I am just challenging with kindness so you can check in on your true desires.

The first step is always the hardest but once you take it, the rest gets easier.

Trust me, I've been there! I had doubt at the start of my own weight loss journey. 'What if this is just like all the other times?' but this time due to the method I used it was different. I was no different it was the method that had to change I had to build one that fitted me. Once I realised that and took those first few steps and committed to keep figuring it out no matter what, everything else fell into place. Sure it took time but I have something I can use for life.

The next time you can find yourself wishing.

You've started your journey

So you are started...huzzah! but then we get a new set of wishes to add to the old ones.

I wish:

• I was at goal already
• that I could just be thin already and not have to go to the gym
• that vegetables tasted like chocolate, cos then I would eat them
• I wish the scales would go down
• I wish I could get to 'Onderland'
• I wish wish wish wish...

Tiring right if you let them take hold and you go around wishing all day.

The cure to judgement is acceptance. Acceptance of the situation, acceptance of the journey, of where you are and who you are.

Acceptance is a feeling that comes from a thought so we need to work through thought models to get our thoughts in line with our goals, to lead to the feelings we need to take the actions.

You are in maintenance or generally happy with your weight range

Now this one I think depends on how you got to goal.

If you are truly aligned with your method of weight loss.

You have lost weight in a way you are happy with and can sustain you may not do a lot of wishing here.

But it is an opportunity to check in as wishing could still occur the question is how prolific it is. Or maybe you just find yourself wishing for other things. We always want what we think we do not have.

So what could wishing look like:

• I wish I didn't have to count points or calories
• I wish I could eat carbs
• I wish I didn't have to go to the gym
• I wish I just didn't have to think about food anymore
• I wish I was naturally thin

Let me know if any of that is familiar.

All that wishing!

More exhustion.

So what do we do? How do we put together the pieces of life & weight loss to avoid the wishing well of doom?

The first step is always acknowledgement. Acknowledging the wish, the thought, the feeling, giving it a name and staying with it for a while. Why are you having this thought? What is it that you are really yearning for?

When we can stay with the feeling and get curious about what it is we are really wanting we can open up the opportunity to get it in a different way, a way that honours our journey, our weight loss goals and ourselves and more importantly decide does this fit my life? Does it serve me and if not what can I do about it?

Conclusion

So what are the takeaway points...

• Notice when you are wishing, whether that be weight loss or not.
• Sit with the wishes, they will come and go in your mind and can be like a low lying hum in your mind, draining the battery.
• Take time to get curious and decide if the wishes are serving you or are you just fighting reality, creating your own suffering.
• Decide what action if any you can take to make your wishes come true.
• Manifest the shit out of those wishes and be the change you are looking for!

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Categories: : mindfulness, mindset, Weight loss