Bonus - Back To School Guide For Busy Mums: So You Can Find Space For Your Well-Being

Faye Casement Author

Oct 19, 2022 |

Life can feel pretty overwhelming at times and the kids going back to school can be one of them!

Summer had its issues of course too, whether that be finding childcare or finding a way to keep the cherubs entertained without breaking the bank, stopping siblings squabbling, or just generally trying to keep on top of the housework and life admin whilst also holding down other responsibilities like a job and/or business.

But now although you are likely excited they are heading back to school there’s a new set of challenges on the horizon, albeit different ones.

That's why I've put together a back-to-school guide for mums that will help you find more bandwidth to focus on your well-being. From setting realistic goals to taking time for yourself, this guide will help you stay healthy and balanced this school year.

Join Wellness 4 Women to watch the accompanying video and to ask questions.

So let's jump in!

Life is a constant juggling act. We are constantly juggling our responsibilities and obligations, whilst wanting to also achieve our well-being aims. We have to juggle, work, businesses, partners, children, pets, homes, family, friends, and the list goes on. And when our children go back to school that juggling act can become even more complicated as we try to find a balance between all of those responsibilities and taking care of the back-to-school transition.

We have got to get out of holiday mode and back into school mode.

There are the earlier mornings, the packed lunches, the homework, the after-school clubs to play taxi for, the bedtimes to stick to and the list goes on.

It can be a big adjustment for all of the family but it is especially tough on mums.

All of these changes can lead to a feeling of being overwhelmed and in some cases, anxious. And when we're feeling stressed, our ability to lose weight if that is what we are working on and looking after our well-being can be impacted.

But if you are going to get through this time successfully you need to work on your well-being. I know you will be used to putting yourself last, to putting everyone and everything else in front of you but if you want to get through this time without losing your mind, you're going to need to start putting yourself first.

That doesn't mean being selfish, it means taking care of yourself so that you can take care of others. The larger capacity you can create for yourself you create for others.

A burnout stressed Mum is not likely to be as present as a calm, centred one.

So, with that in mind, here's a fly-over of my guide for mums to focus on their well-being this back-to-school season.

Grab the workbook here

The workbook runs you through how you can use the Triple-A-Way Fun-da-mental to take action for your well-being which in turn can only benefit your kiddos and wider family.

AWARENESS

Starting with awareness:

It is all about learning from the past, sitting in the present, and predicting the future.

Some things to play about with and consider.

• What do you want to happen?
• How do you want to show up?
• Learn from the past could be a day, week, month, or year? What went well and what didn't?
• Get present, where are you and fam at right now?
• Future focus, anticipate the problems that might arise, and have a plan for how you will deal with them.

Identify what you want to happen.

Really picture what the dream scenario would be.

• What would have to happen for this to come true?
• Is it really realistic, can you make this happen?

Half of the battle for a happier, less stressed life is having realistic expectations about what you can and cannot achieve

Unrealistic expectations are likely to lead to disappointment, resentment, and a feeling of failure.

It is vital that you are honest with yourself about what is possible.

When you know what you want to achieve it will be easier to put steps in place to make it happen. If your goal feels unachievable then break it down into smaller steps that you can realistically achieve.

This goes for the fam too. Where are they at right now? What is realistic for your relationship? For your kid's development level?

It is okay to want big things but if they are not achievable then you need to look at that and decide what is and is not in your control.

I know when my daughter was younger I wanted everything to be organised and smooth, I would get stressed when she wasn't ready for school on time, when I then had to rush to work, when she forgot her PE kit. Shouty Mum would come out in full force as I would get stressed after not being listened to all morning, this would knock into my well-being and weight loss.

The thing is though she was doing her best. She couldn't be anything other than who she was and she needed me to guide her.

So I got to solving the issues one by one as best I could factoring in her capabilities. Was it perfect? Hell no, but it was a damn sight easier than if I continued to wing it as I had been.

The first step is to set some really simple process goals for yourself. When you're feeling overwhelmed it can be tempting to try and do too much, but that will only lead to you feeling more stressed.

As you knock out the simple process goals you celebrate it as a win.

Decide how you want to show up?

The only thing that is truly in your control is you. How do you want to show up? Do you want to be Stressed Mom? Zen Mom? Compassionate Mom? Organised Mom?

I will give you another example, as my daughter hit her teenage years I was worried. I worried we were going to get into disagreements, that she would be a typical 'stroppy teen' and that I would become grumpy naggy Mom and that our relationship would be impacted.

I had some coaching and it changed everything. I decided I didn't want us to have a poor relationship, I didn't want to have disagreements. I wanted us to have an open relationship based on trust and communication. I decided to do this I was the one that needed to show up the way I wanted to and the biggest factor of that was compassion.

In the past when someone has been grumpy with me I would always react with defence as I would feel threatened. My brain would go to fight mode. The problem with fight mode in relationships is that often the other person stops listening and communications break down. I wanted to change and so I worked on this.

I decided I wanted to be compassionate towards her. If she has a moment where she talking to me in a way I do not agree with I chose not to fight back in that moment, I swallowed my anger and start to listen. After the storm then we would talk.

Likewise, I got to know myself a whole lot better. I could then proactively start to say to her, I am feeling this way so bear that in mind when you speak to me today or if I am grumpy it is not you, it's me, so things did not escalate between us.

Learn from the past

Whatever has happened so far is what is likely to continue unless you change something. What didn't go well yesterday, last week, last month, last year. Doesn't matter what time frame you are working with just take some time to learn from it.

Predict the future

Getting clear on the past, and knowing where you are right now means you can start to predict the future!

• What problems could come up?
• How can you solve them?

Anticipating problems ahead of time is a superpower. Nobody knows their kids better than their parents. The more you get to know them, you and how it is all fitting together you can start to step into action for change.

STEPPING INTO ACTION

Now the fun part! Getting together a plan of attack!

It is so easy to get into victim mode, to think they we cannot do anything about a given situation, or say to ourselves its just life or that is just the joys of parenting and so we don't try to change things, but what if you could reduce some of your daily frustrations? How different would your well-being be? How would that knock into others?

When building a plan of attack think about what you can do before, in the moment and after a situation occurs.

Ask yourself 3 questions, what can I stop, start or change?

What do you currently do and does it work? If so keep it.

If it is not working how you want let's work on it.

Let's say you have a kid that is never ready for the time you need to leave the house.

It's a simple case of deciding what you want to stop, start or change.

I told you about how my daughter and I would regularly clash as she was not ready for school. I used to get super stressed out worrying that I was not going to make it to work on time and would get frustrated with her that she did not seem to care!

I could often be heard shouting up the stairs "we've got to go...now!!!" only to find her missing an item of clothing, lunch wasn't made, she forgot her PE kit.

It was stressful for both of us and set both of our days off on the wrong foot.

Setting the day off on the wrong foot likely meant I was not as present at work, I perhaps would overeat etc so it all had a knock on to both or our well-being.

I'm pretty sure this is a common occurrence in most households.

So what did I do?

A started figuring out the pieces and gathering awareness and finding little fix's for the issues.

I ultimately used my 5 D's of action process to figure it out.

I decided I wanted to STOP shouting. It got me nowhere and I felt rubbish. I decided to STOP having expectations about me and her that were not realistic.

I decided to START, giving her a 10 minute warning. I started to encourage her to leave her shoes by the door, to put her PE kit by the door the night before. I set timers to remind me it was PE Day. I STARTED getting up earlier so I could prioritise my health goals. I STARTED journalling about what I wanted to happen that day and how I could make it happen. I STARTED other mindfulness activities when I felt stressed or frustrated.

I wanted to CHANGE, the time we left for school and communicated that to her at her level so we had more of a fighting chance. I CHANGED the way I showed up around food when I felt stressed. I CHANGED the way I communicated with her so our relationship changed.

These may all sound basic on the face of it but I was not doing them and these small things made a huge difference.

What are the small things you could try today to make things easier for you?

ACCOUNTABILITY

Accountability is all about getting stuff done!

So how can you make sure you do what you plan to do?

• What support do you need?
• What can you remind yourself when things are not going as well as you hoped?
• What tools and systems can you put in place to support what you want to happen? Can you change your environment? Set reminders? Work on your own routines?
• Maybe you can discuss it with your partner, as a family, with friends, mum groups and/or your coach.
  

Lastly, mindset is everything. It is easy to try something once and think it is not going to work maybe this is true or maybe you need to give it more time. Keeping going no matter what, chipping away and figuring stuff out as you go wins the race.

SUMMARY

That's it folks, getting back into the school routine can be a challenging time, especially when trying to keep up with your well-being routines. However, by using a few tips and tricks, such as the 5 D's of action process and working on your accountability can make this transition smoother.

Grab the workbook now!

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Categories: : mindset, Weight loss, yoga